He ate the simple dinner he fixed himself sharing tidbits with his ever present friendly wolf. After eating he grabbed his guitar and wandered out to the small porch and took a seat on the one chair there. He casually pushed back and leaned the back of the chair against the wall as his blue eyes studied the sun on its downward track into the horizon. It was this part of the day that always managed to stun his sensibilities with its fiery hues that slowly darkened to black. As light faded into dark he stood and went inside, carefully propping the guitar in what had now become its spot beside the fireplace. He shook his head and chuckled at the knowledge that the boy who loved the late nights and hysteria that went along with all the parties was also totally content with the quiet and early nights. He wondered for the umpteenth time if that’s why Dusty stayed away, that perhaps in some strange way she knew his heart, mind and body needed this to heal.
Wandering over to the hotplate he put on a pot of coffee and waited for it to percolate. He made it strong and black, hoping that its stimulating properties would help keep him awake until Dusty returned that night. No matter how he tried he never was awake when she returned and that bothered him. He wanted to get to know her better, wanted to get inside her head. Truth be told he wanted her to get to know him and more than just in the biblical sense. Maybe tonight would be the night if he could just stay awake. He laughed softly at his thoughts as the wolf huffed softly at him, as if asking him what was so funny. “If you only knew wolf you’d probably decide I was better off breakfast instead of your walking buddy. Why won’t she ever show up when I’m awake at night? I want to get to know her better, learn all her secrets. Why won’t she let me get close to her? You have any idea wolf? Does she know who I am and is that what scares her?”
He grinned as the wolf seemed to shake her head no. “I wish you did know the answer wolf, I’m just a guy so what if my job is singing in front of thousands, it doesn’t change what and who I am, does it? Nah, it don’t. I just want to understand her, and she’s not even giving me that chance.”
His brow arched as the wolf padded softly over to the front door and pawed at it with a soft huff. Now that was odd, usually she was content to stay in with him when night struck. It was an odd eccentricity for a wolf he knew, they were usually animals that thrived in the night, but he had become used to her being there. “So you need out huh? Well it’s odd, but who am I to argue with a lady?” He grinned as he opened the door. “Not like I’ll be going anywhere so you scamper on home whenever you get the urge wolfie.” He watched as she shot out of the door and raced off into the night then whispered softly, “Well so long to you too wolf.”
Closing the door he went and poured himself a second cup of coffee, humming the song “Solitary Man” softly under his breath. As he made his way over to the table he heard sounds outside and figured the wolf had come back. Moving to the door he opened it quickly and came face to face with the pretty blonde with the odd gold eyes. “Well hi there, fancy seeing you this time of night.” A quick grin flashed over his face then was gone as he studied her and recognized the signs of nervousness there.
She tilted her head a slight smile gracing her lips. “I just thought you might like some company tonight, well company of the more human variety that is.”
He flashed her a smile that would have melt the most frozen ice and handed her a cup of coffee. “Now that sounds like a winning idea. I just brewed coffee, how about we go enjoy the view?”
She reached out to take the cup from his hands and he almost jerked with the sensation that attacked his nerve endings. Just a simple touch of skin had all his synapses tingling with fire, and from the stunned look on her face she had felt the same. There was a strange underlying shadow of fear in her eyes at the same time, a haunted look that had him wondering what had hurt her to put that shadow there.
He leaned back against the porch railing as Dusty settled into the chair and took a deep breath before plunging into the abyss. “Tell me Golden girl, why a lady as beautiful as you lives all the way out here in the desert, cuz it just doesn’t seem to be the type of place you’d be suited too at all.”
She arched a brow before taking a sip of coffee. “And exactly what type of place am I suited too?”
His first thought was to say wherever he was so he could take care of her, but settled for “someplace nicer I guess.”
He was amazed when she stood and poked him in the chest and her next words had him nearly falling backwards off the porch. “What? You thought I was some uninformed idiot that didn’t know who you were just because I live out here? Well you were wrong, I knew who you were and it didn’t matter a bit. You were a guy and you were in trouble and physically exhausted. I could help so I did. Fancy that, stupid lil me from the desert.”
Damn she was gorgeous when she was pissed He reached out without thought and pulled her into his arms his lips swooping in to cover hers in a teasing kiss. He groaned softly into the kiss as her slender arms wrapped around him then ran slowly up and down his spine. The flames licking along his nerve endings became incendiary as her lips slid from his lips down along his Adam’s apple. His hands slid up and under her shirt and caressed her skin before gliding up towards the underside of her breast. “God baby, you feel so soft.”
She murmured softly as he began to walk her backwards to the door, his hands in continual movement along her skin. Her tongue flickered out begging entrance to his mouth and his brain shut down as all thought processes save for getting her inside and undressed seemed to vanish into the desert night. He was so intent on the feel of her skin and her lips on his that he walked her into the door, startling the both of them into laughter. “Oops baby, sorry bout that,” he whispered into her ear as he reached for the door knob, only to find her twisting out of his arms.
She looked so forlorn as she stood there staring off into the night. Something was bothering her and he wasn’t sure what it was that had her turning from hot to cold so quickly, but he was determined to find out. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Wanna talk about it Golden girl?”
He kept his arms around her in a gentle reassuring way. “You can tell me anything, nothing fazes me you know. Was it something I did or did I just read you wrong?”
“You did nothing wrong Jon, matter of fact your doing everything right. That’s what I’m afraid of. If I let this go further and you find out certain things, well I don’t want to think of what might happen.”
Jon shook his head and kissed her ear. “There’s nothing you can say that would change how I’m feeling Golden girl. Just tell Jonny what’s scaring you.”
He heard her sigh once before she turned to look up at him. “I’m different, just not like most people, and I don’t give myself to just anyone. Never have matter of fact, and if I give myself to you I’ll be lost forever because I know you’re just not into forever right now. Let’s just leave it at that ok?”
He reached up and cupped her chin, leaning in to kiss her lips tenderly. “How do ya know I’m not into forever babe?”
He heard her laugh as it faded off into a sob. “Because you aren’t Jon Bon Jovi, your young and the world is at your feet. Women the world over are ready to be your Miss Right Now. You aren’t looking to find a soul connection because dammit it all you don’t even know who you are deep inside.”
He huffed softly and replied. “Of course I know who I am. I been me for my entire life, and I know what I want.”
She looked up at him her eyes blazing a luminous gold. “No you don’t know, and because you don’t I’m going to save you the heartache our making love would cost us both. Yes I want you, I need you, but I can’t have you. We are too alike and until you realize what you are, there is no chance in hell for either of us.”
“I have no idea what you are going on about here Golden, but you need to know that I’m a forever kind of guy and I’m pretty fucking sure you can’t tell me anything that will change how I feel.” He turned her towards him his eyes glittering with intensity, “so if it will make you feel better, you go ahead and tell me and realize nothing will change how I’m feeling right this second.”
“You’re so damned sure of yourself aren’t you?” Her eyes blazed as she pulled away from his arms and stepped off the porch. “So fucking sure you know everything, and that everything is going to go according to your plans. Well let’s just see how that works for ya Jonny. You see if we do anything we’ll be bound forever, it’s our way, our kinds way, not that you’d know about that. Why didn’t your parent tell you?”
She begin to shimmer before his eyes and even seemed to be shrinking. He blinked once or twice then shook his head trying to clear his vision. What WAS in those herbs she’d been feeding him daily? Maybe that’s what had his head so twisted up because he couldn’t find a logical explanation for the fact that the girl was vanishing to be replaced by his friendly wolf. It wasn’t possible, it was too crazy and yet there it was in front of him. With a soft huff the wolf turned and started to run off, but stopped as he yelled “Stop!”
A regal head turned and looked his way sadness gleaming in the golden depth of her eyes before the wolf whirled and raced off into the night. He thought of trying to chase the wolf down but knew it was impossible so he walked into the small house and sat down in a chair prepared to wait for Dusty to return. He’d get his answers to the questions beginning to scramble in his brain once she returned, and he knew she would return.
~~~~~
The pounding on the door continued only to be followed with a “DAMMIT FRANK open the fucking door!”
He ran his hands raggedly through his hair as he took a deep breath. Memories of that time always unsettled him. His blue eyes were shadowed as he turned and made his way to the door. She had never returned after that night. He had waited for days and it was if she had never existed. The wolf had vanished that same night, and although he had searched the desert around the small house he never saw either of them. When the food ran out he was forced to finally gas up his bike and leave.
He opened the door a crack only to find his best friend preparing to knock again. “Dammit Dean, there are people trying to sleep around here.”
Richie studied his friend intently and saw the shadows playing hide and seek within the depths of Jon’s eyes. “Oh don’t give ME that bullshit Frank. You weren’t sleeping.”
A weak smile fleetingly passed over Jon’s lips as he opened the door wider. “Didn’t mean me bro, meant the folks in the neighboring rooms.” He walked over to the couch and sank into its soft depths. “So what has you pounding on my door at
“You missed the wake up call Bro. Remember we fly out to do the This aint a love song video today.”
Jon groaned softly. “Oh damn that’s right.”
Richie gave his friend an understanding look. “You had that dream again didn’t ya? So which one was it? The one from ’89 or the one from ’92?”
He knew better than to deny what his friend just said. Richie knew him far better than most. He’d explained it to Rich once, about the girl and the desert, but he had left the part out concerning the wolf. He doubted that even Rich for all his loyalty and open minded ways would get that. “Doesn’t matter Rich, I guess finding out we were headed back to that particular area opened old wounds.”
“She must have been some kind of woman to have affected you that deeply even after all this time. Hell you never even considered going back with Dot after you returned from the desert, and you’ve never been happy with any girl you’ve met since and it’s been what six years? She must have been something else.”
“Oh she was Bro, more than you’ll ever know.”
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