Chapter 12

She leaned her head back against the bus seat and sighed. Damn she was so tired, tired of the scenery rushing past on a daily basis and tired of the non stop hotel rooms. She sighed softly as she thought of all the places, California Utah, Colorado, Wisconsin, Ohio, Georgia, and a few more she’d already forgotten, all stops on the whirlwind tour they were on. That didn’t even cover all the time she’d logged flying from one place to another over the past few months. For the millionth time she wondered how Jon had managed to convince her to leave her desert home that day only to come right back to the startling conclusion that he didn’t have to try all that hard. She had felt from the day she ran from him in 1989 that she had left half of her soul someplace else, now though she still felt incomplete too and she was unsure of how to fix that. Was being with Jon enough to keep the wolf at bay? It had been that way for months, but she could feel the tell tale beginnings of the urge to roam; something she had fought for the last few months because the need to be with Jon was running even deeper.

A soft smile played about her lips as her mind ran and skipped amongst the memories that had started the day after her fight with Max. He had been so careful with her that day, from caring for her wounds to ensuring that she ate and rested. When the time came to leave Arizona he simply planned for her to be along for the ride, and in her condition she had fallen in with his plans enjoying being taken care of by such a wonderful man. Even the presence of Alec hadn’t taken the shine off the new penny.

It had been hard telling him about Alec, but he had been so understanding, even reassuring her that he would be keeping a better eye on his bassist. It had proven to be a timely warning as over the months Jon had, more than once, caught the bassist unprepared to play. Much time was wasted sobering the man up, or finding a way to ensure he didn’t fuck up the entire stage show. It amazed her even now at all that went into a few guys just standing up on a elaborate big box and singing. Increasingly of late though, that elaborate preparation included hours of convincing Alec to play, and he had started out right refusing to come to any rehearsal or session they had on their few days off in between shows.

Her eyes opened momentarily and scanned the bus, her eyes settling on each man in turn. Just watching Richie for a second made her grin. He was forever in motion, she doubted he could ever slow down or sit still. If he wasn’t strumming one of his many beloved guitars he had a pad and pencil in hand and was writing. Most of his and Jon’s songs came from those very moments of introspection when the pen was scratching over the paper. The funny thing was, he was as protective of her as Jon was in his own way. No one got close enough to the golden girl to cause harm when Richie was there. He had said once as his cheeks flushed pink that she was the sister he’d never had, and that one heart felt thought from him had ensnared her into this ride as much as Jon’s need for her had. She looked over at David and couldn’t help but smile. Their “Joker”, always with a grin or practical joke in process or planning stage that no one was safe or immune from. His devious mind never slowed down. She started giggling as she remembered the night in Omaha when right before the show Jon had figured out his way too tight pants had been coating in itching powder. That one incident had instigated a month long “who had the itchie’s” that no one on the bus was immune too.

Then there was Tico, Tico of the gravelly voice and ready grin who treated her like a daughter, a daughter of the heart if not body. Maybe it was his little boy enthusiasm for his job or maybe it was just his hot Latin soul, but she often compared him to a little boy on Christmas morning when she watched him play the drums. He had that looked of unbridled joy that being the heartbeat of the band seemed to inspire, with each and ever downward stroke of his hands. Her eyes came to rest on Alec, who was as usual staring out the bus with the evident glassy eyed stare. She stayed away from him the best she could as he always seemed to make her feel dirty. He was forever more giving her looks that reminded her of the wolf in “Little Red Riding Hood.” If anyone could have played the wicked wolf in that story it would have been Alec. She didn’t know how much longer Jon was going to put up with him, but she was praying deep inside it wasn’t that long.

As her gaze made their circle her eyes centered on the face of Jon at sleep. He looked so young and carefree when he was asleep. It was then more than any time that he reminded her of the floppy haired biker she had met so long before. She leaned forward and pressed her nose against his long silky hair and sniffed. He had started to let it grow longer when she had agreed to come along with them and it was her undoing. A slight grin flickered over his lips and one blue eye cracked open. “Hello there baby.” His grin shifted to a full on smile as he tilted his head and pressed his lips against hers. “Have a nice nap?”

“I’m not the one who was napping you devil and you know it.” She laughed softly.

He nuzzled her neck, his tongue flickering along her carotid artery. “Just a few more gigs then we’re off for Christmas Baby. You’re gonna love my mom and dad.”

She pulled away and sighed softly. “Jon I told you, I shouldn’t intrude on your family holiday.” She didn’t know about meeting the family that had let him grow up unknowing of his true heritage, or if they’d recognize in her those same traits. She was no better though, she had wanted so many times to talk to him about what he was, but always put it off. She knew she should tell him, but he was happy with his life and learning what she knew might take away that happiness.

“Baby, they’ll love you trust me, especially Matt and Tony. They love a blonde nearly as much as me.” Jon grinned, “but they can’t have you, I have you reserved for myself.”

“You make me sound like a bottle of wine or something Jon. I’m not a damned possession you can put on a shelf.” Dusty’s eyes darkened ominously. She never had liked feeling caged.

“Ah hell baby, you’re my girl, not a possession.” Jon reached over and with one finger lifted her chin so that she was looking into his eyes. “I know we’ve been taking time to get to know each other, I’ve never treated you like a possession. Just wanting you to know how much you mean to me baby, that’s all.”

A ghost of a smile began to play at her lips. “I’m just worried your folks won’t like me is all.”

He couldn’t call her on her honesty, she never lied to him, but she didn’t offer information either, but as he studied her intently knowing that she carried a secret that was translating itself into her fear of not being loved. He knew it had something to do with the fall they met, now if he could just figure it out. Maybe once they were away from the band, alone in his apartment, maybe then they could really talk.